salam,
am i bi-polar? i dont know. is my life bi-polar? maybe. my life tends to be in the extremes. i'll be extremely happy at one time. but somehow, it wont last long. something happens. and then i'll be extremely manic-depressive. and usually, my life is full of downs with intermittent ups in between. why? i dont know.
for the past many weeks since december 2011, it was one bad news after another, like a wave. work, love, friends, family, finance, etc etc etc. there is no aspect in my life that was not hit by the wave. ombak bala? ya adoi, haruskah aku menyanyi...?
Tuhan tolong berkati hidup aku
Juga kurniakan seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak rela
Tanggung duka lara sebegini
melampau la pulak kan nyanyi ala-ala hafiz af9 kan. walaupun ada persamaan dari segi rambut maggi saya udah kembang itu.
yes, i do take time to sit still and reflect. try to rationalise. why is my life like this? where did i go wrong? what did i not do? i dont know the answer. i really dont know.
as always, i choose the easy way out, which is to blame myself. easy ma, this means karma! for sure i got do something no good last time, that is why la now i kena 9 9 de. kanasi, this one also need to break head think so much meh? mari menyanyi...
Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosaku
Hanya ingat Kamu kala dukaku
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka
Pintu bahagia ‘tuk hidupku
in the end, i am sad. i am down. i am depressed. when the things happen, i am affected. when i try to reflect. i am affected too. when i try to motivate myself, a new wave of bad things happen again and i am affected. so how leh? what can i do? menyanyi lagi...?
Hujan bawa air mataku
Yang mengalir membasuh lukaku
Agar Kau tahu ku tersiksa
Tanpa rahmat Mu di hidupku
kemain aku nyanyi mohon kat Tuhan tapi dalam mode meratap-ratap. mampus kena panah petir nanti hahaha...
*menangis sekejap*
ahhhh entah la. aku mengaku la aku ni tak pandai nak mengadu kat orang. samada secara lisan, bertulis (surat ke, email ke, sms ke, blog ke, fb ke). memang semak otak aku ni, memang sebak hati aku ni... tapi nak tak nak, aku kena la tanggung kan. anak jantan, kena la ada bran nak melawan. bila jatuh, tak boleh terbaring selamanya. untuk apa jadi haiwan melata di bumi.
harus bangkit dan berlari ke langit!
entah la, tak mau merapu dah dah dah dah (eh ada gema lak dalam blog ni). ok, pergi menangis sekejap, bye.
nota off-topic:
haruskah aku ikut cakap adik aku dan masuk keluarga dia jadi cina? mungkin aku tak akan jadi mangsa prejudis lagi selepas itu?
am i bi-polar? i dont know. is my life bi-polar? maybe. my life tends to be in the extremes. i'll be extremely happy at one time. but somehow, it wont last long. something happens. and then i'll be extremely manic-depressive. and usually, my life is full of downs with intermittent ups in between. why? i dont know.
for the past many weeks since december 2011, it was one bad news after another, like a wave. work, love, friends, family, finance, etc etc etc. there is no aspect in my life that was not hit by the wave. ombak bala? ya adoi, haruskah aku menyanyi...?
Tuhan tolong berkati hidup aku
Juga kurniakan seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak rela
Tanggung duka lara sebegini
melampau la pulak kan nyanyi ala-ala hafiz af9 kan. walaupun ada persamaan dari segi rambut maggi saya udah kembang itu.
yes, i do take time to sit still and reflect. try to rationalise. why is my life like this? where did i go wrong? what did i not do? i dont know the answer. i really dont know.
as always, i choose the easy way out, which is to blame myself. easy ma, this means karma! for sure i got do something no good last time, that is why la now i kena 9 9 de. kanasi, this one also need to break head think so much meh? mari menyanyi...
Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosaku
Hanya ingat Kamu kala dukaku
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka
Pintu bahagia ‘tuk hidupku
in the end, i am sad. i am down. i am depressed. when the things happen, i am affected. when i try to reflect. i am affected too. when i try to motivate myself, a new wave of bad things happen again and i am affected. so how leh? what can i do? menyanyi lagi...?
Hujan bawa air mataku
Yang mengalir membasuh lukaku
Agar Kau tahu ku tersiksa
Tanpa rahmat Mu di hidupku
kemain aku nyanyi mohon kat Tuhan tapi dalam mode meratap-ratap. mampus kena panah petir nanti hahaha...
*menangis sekejap*
ahhhh entah la. aku mengaku la aku ni tak pandai nak mengadu kat orang. samada secara lisan, bertulis (surat ke, email ke, sms ke, blog ke, fb ke). memang semak otak aku ni, memang sebak hati aku ni... tapi nak tak nak, aku kena la tanggung kan. anak jantan, kena la ada bran nak melawan. bila jatuh, tak boleh terbaring selamanya. untuk apa jadi haiwan melata di bumi.
harus bangkit dan berlari ke langit!
entah la, tak mau merapu dah dah dah dah (eh ada gema lak dalam blog ni). ok, pergi menangis sekejap, bye.
nota off-topic:
haruskah aku ikut cakap adik aku dan masuk keluarga dia jadi cina? mungkin aku tak akan jadi mangsa prejudis lagi selepas itu?
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